SELECTIVE DATES ONLY
UPCOMING PERFORMANCE DATES
Tony@TonyBarge.com
FREE CHRISTMAS MUSIC
PRETTY PAPER
WHITE CHRISTMAS
JOY TO THE WORLD & DECK THE HALLS
JINGLE BELLS
RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER
SILVER BELLS
Comments
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Very nice music and singer. I would like to be able to follow him.
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The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
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People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
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We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
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A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
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Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
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There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
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I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
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It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
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Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
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The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
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The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
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DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other
hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form. -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
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Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
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To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
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> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
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UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
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Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
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No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
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Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
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Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
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Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
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Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
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The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
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In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
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If a man does his best, what else is there?
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Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
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You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
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If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
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If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
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Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
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If a man does his best, what else is there?
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Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
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We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
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It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
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Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
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A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
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Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
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If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
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It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
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Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
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Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
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True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
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I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
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He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
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A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
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Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
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The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
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First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
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We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
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There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
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Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
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It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
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I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
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Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
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A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
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The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
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Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
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One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
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He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
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Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
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I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
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Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
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A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
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Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind
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A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
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Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
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There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
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A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
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I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
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Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
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Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
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